just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize
