At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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