so that wasnt chicken after all
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
