so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
