super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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