Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
