My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize