I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
