You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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