Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
