People in love make me want to vomit
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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