so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
