her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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