How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
