college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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