:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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