Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
