Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He passed out mid-signature
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
