My liver just broke up with me...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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