So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
birth control should be required to get into college
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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