I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
