just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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