My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
