So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
