okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
