She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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