yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
