A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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