I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
