Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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