There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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