too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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