Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
