im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
