The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
