I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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