I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
