id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
