She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize