Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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