I think I died a long time ago.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
