We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize