White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
