is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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