I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
