this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I want her autograph on my taint
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
