theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
