She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize