The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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