i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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