id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
