Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize