Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
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He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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