I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
