I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
