chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The adults are the big ones right?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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