I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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