Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
