I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
