I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
