I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
