This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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