Reggie can tackle my bush.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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